It's important you chat to your child, calmly and quietly and get them to express what they are feeling. Feeling anxious is NORMAL and that is the point to make. However, feeling anxious can seem overwhelming, physically, because the brain perceives there is a threat and floods your body with adrenaline, getting ready to either fight back or flee from danger. This makes your breathing shallow and fast, your head dizzy and more.
But anxiety isn't always helpful. It begins with a single thought: I'm in danger! And sometimes that thought is an overreaction, rather than a useful signal. Social anxiety isn't danger, but your brain doesn't know that!
Modern
life is supposed to have given us freedoms and more leisure time, and
yet kids seem to be suffering even more from anxiety. I
believe technology and our obsession with it has contributed to this
phenomenon. Kids spend hours a day glued to screens, instead of
interacting with real people, chatting, reading facial and body clues,
smelling, sensing, touching. This makes them less able to interpret what
they see in their environment, causing confusion which results in
anxiety. In addition, if children aren't physically active, their body doesn't learn to figure out its physical limits through play. In addition, physical activity, especially for boys, releases pent up emotions and energy, helps them process what is happening in their environment and is crucial to self confidence. Play is also important for social skills, as children learn to interact appropriately, discovering what is acceptable in the group, how to play fair, how to resolve conflict etc. Some children need help with learning these things, because it doesn't come completely naturally to them or they might be a little shy.
The power of this book
Self-knowledge - My standpoint is that children should be
empowered by recognising they are prone to anxiety, and accept they will
probably always be that kind of person. Stop fighting it, I say!
Managing, not suffering - Learn how to manage it instead.
Be realistic about the triggers that set you off and learn how to
minimise their effects on your life. I mention lots of different
techniques and ideas in the book, as well as the 12 monsters themselves,
which represent the unhelpful messages that repeat inside your mind
over and over.
Physical effects - To break free of that, you must first understand the physical aspects of what anxiety actually is, so that even though it feels
like you're going to die/pass out/have a heart attack/suffer major
embarrassment you know that it is just adrenaline flooding your brain
and body, and that if you breathe deep and focus your mind it WILL pass.
What age group is this written for?
I designed it to be read independently by children aged 8yrs+ but it is
equally accessible and interesting for teens and even adults. The idea
is to take the scariness away and replace it with a humorous take on
being an anxious person. Being an anxious person is not the end of the
world, or your life, it's just a way of thinking - that you can learn to
control.
Why I wrote this book
When I wrote this book for my clients and their families I had no idea
how quickly I would get through the first 100 copies. When I visited schools I took copies with me. They sold out. Everywhere I go people pick up the book and
exclaim, "Wow, I wish I'd had this when I was a kid!" Now it sells all
over the world.
